The Art of Embracing Uncertainty
Siren Call of the Red Carpet, Oil on Canvas
“For my part, I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars, makes me dream.”
Vincent Van Gogh
Like Van Gogh, I know nothing with any certainty. Many years ago, when I was indulging in some deep and inspiring coaching, I had a short but vivid “dream snippet” that has stayed with me ever since.
“I am emerging from a small airplane and about to go down the stairs to the tarmac. A roll of red carpet appears at my feet and as I move to take a step, it unfurls to the first rung of the retractable stairs. I’m startled but intrigued too so take another step and another and the carpet responds by rolling out one rung at a time, a kind of rolling runway.”
It’s crystal clear to me that the dream carpet is responding to my tentative movement forward. In the dream, I don’t know where I’ve landed or where I’m going now. This feeling of uncertainty is poignantly familiar so it’s encouraging to feel that a runway of guidance is revealed. I am reminded of Dorothy’s red shoes and the yellow brick road she follows.
In the past four years, we have moved communities, retired from day jobs and turned much of our attention to family. While this chapter of life is ripe with possibility and new freedoms, we are definitely “not in Kansas anymore”! I’m surprised at how timid I’ve felt about moving forward with my painting practice, in particular. The one thing I feel sure about is that the old ways simply don’t work anymore.
The past four years have been about untangling, dismantling and letting go to make space for life to unfold in new ways. A planner by nature and twenty years of corporate marketing anchored in steering brand vision and updated forecasts instilled in me Pitbull like persistence, formidable fortitude and forceful but essentially fake fearlessness. Those carefully honed characteristics supported a successful career and helped me complete a marathon, climb mountains , paddle an artic river and stay afloat when the world around me veered out of control. I was driven and determined and under the illusion that I was leading carefully choreographed dance.
I’m grateful. And, the notion of that energy is exhausting now. It’s time to let go of needing to know and embrace improvisation!
As I thoughtfully place one foot in front of the other, the world around me responds with a red carpet of spontaneous opportunities and inspirations that foster curiosity and a willingness to trust. Gradually, I am feeling supported and energized in this new dance that follows its own rhythm.
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